According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize