she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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