i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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