"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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