Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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