He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
