Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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