his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She bit a glass in half.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize