I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
