Got a toothbrush?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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