yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I got inside last night via doggy door
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
