This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
