then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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