Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
And then he peed in my hair
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