Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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