i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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