He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
