tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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