You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just come out here and I will go home with you...
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize