If i come over, it means nothing
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
