Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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