He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
