Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
