I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
