his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
