Duck Duck Cougar?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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