aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
