why do cheetos always look like penises
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
