I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
