Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
