the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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