I wish my penis had an off switch
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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