I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You smell like stripper and shame
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
