so that wasnt chicken after all
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
