I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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