did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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