I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
