and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
