is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
