1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The adults are the big ones right?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
