There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
