i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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