Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
