you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
