She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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