Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
