we have pet lesbian snakes
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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