I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Shame is for Republicans.
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