when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
