if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
