Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
