Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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