Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize