Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
