How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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