Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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