Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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