So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
