Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
