Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
