She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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