i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
