thus making me awesome and them whores
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
