lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I would ride that face into the sunset
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
