His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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